Encounters of Love (pt 2) 

​Defining moments in life are the encounters I’ve had with love, they’re the turning point to the full recognition of personality of God. Love has won my heart over, He has taken a hold on my heart and all I can offer is a total surrender to love. 

So my experience…  I was caught up with some rarest feelings of all,  for about a week my heart was entrenched in love for Him, I couldn’t resist the pull of his love towards me,  it’s  like gravity. It left me undone and every thing else loss it’s meaning to me.  Everything on the natural was just so off point to me, I realized the intangibility of the natural when heaven evades one’s heart. Eternity resides inside of me and I caught a glimpse of its activities and my appetite for this world became undone, I lost interest in the activities of this present world, I felt too good for this world. I’m forever changed by His love! His love is forever enough…  So I sought some like-minded friends and they told me to keep paying attention to what God was doing with me  during those times. 

And the word that perfectly described my experiences came (1 John 2:15-16) ” Do not love or cherish the world or the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in him.For all that is in the world–the lust of the flesh [craving for sensual gratification] and the lust of the eyes [greedy longings of the mind] and the pride of life [assurance in one’s own resources or in the stability of earthly things]–these do not come from the Father but are from the world [itself]”

Because God’s love resides in me, my love for this world is nothing… Don’t get me wrong not that I don’t have passion to bring out the God colors on the earth realm but his love consumed me up and capture my essence to display and re-present him to this world, to reflect his nature, personality,will, desires, ambitions and passion. 

When the love of the Father takes a hold of your heart, you’ll never be the same cos your heart will respond to his love andThen you’ll respond to his desires. 

Knowing the love of God diminishes the love of this world. 

”  Unreserved, unrestrained

Your love is wild

Your love is wild for me

It isn’t shy, it’s unashamed

Your love is proud

To be seen with me

You don’t give Your heart in pieces

You don’t hide Yourself to tease us

Uncontrolled, uncontained

Your love is a fire

Burning bright for me

It’s not just a spark

It’s not just a flame

Your love is a light

That all the world will see

All the world will see

You don’t give Your heart in pieces

You don’t hide Yourself to tease us

Your love’s not fractured

It’s not a troubled mind

It isn’t anxious

It’s not the restless kind

Your love’s not passive

It’s never disengaged

It’s always present

It hangs on every word we say

Love keeps its promises

It keep its word

It honors what’s sacred

‘Cause its vows are good

Your love’s not broken

It’s not insecure

Your love’s not selfish

Your love is pure

You don’t give Your heart in pieces

You don’t hide Yourself to tease us”

Feed on his love 

Stay on his love 

Embrace his love. 

Beneath Our Skin pt 1

Beneath our skin

Is a new creation man, 

A man from above, 

That had never been seen

The hidden man of the heart. 

Within this frame, 

Is God fully represented in man,

In this earthly vessel, 

Is the greatest treasure of all, 

Where lies an inheritance

Which no man can inherit by works 

Nor by toiling all day and night 

​Facts Don’t Get You to Connection (Communication Hacks 4)

When we are just getting to know someone, our conversations are usually centered on the world around us. We exchange facts and clichés, such as the following: 

“How are you?” 

“Fine. How are you?” 

“Great. What’s new?” 

“Not much. Beautiful day.” 

“Sure is.” “Supposed to be 80 degrees today. It says so right here in the paper.” 

“Oh, look at that.” 

This conversation requires a very minimal level of connection or vulnerability—you could probably have it with an absolute stranger. Sadly, there are many people who camp out at the level of facts and clichés in their relationships. It’s comfortable and safe. They usually choose to do this because when they tried to graduate to the next level of intimacy in communication in the past, they got scared and hurt. 

They ended up in those big, long, disrespectful, “relationship killer” conversations and got so burned that they decided it was safer to retreat to communication that required no vulnerability or risk whatsoever. They use communication to pursue the goal of distance and disconnection rather than connection. The only way you can build a heart-to-heart connection with someone is to communicate on a heart level about your feelings and needs.  This is the level where we express vulnerability and build trust. This is the level where we get in touch with the truth about who we are and how we affect people around us Perhaps you have heard the joke about the man who goes to the doctor and complains about suffering from terrible constant gas. “But it’s the weirdest thing, doctor,” he says. “I don’t make a sound and it doesn’t smell.” The doctor looks at him and says bluntly, “Okay. Well, the first thing we are going to do is get you hearing aids. And then we are going to figure out what’s wrong with your nose.” This is what many of us experience every day when we try to communicate. There is a lot going on around us that we don’t always pick up. 

Sometimes we are completely unaware of how other people are “experiencing” us. I love to tell people about how my wife experiences the way I drive up Buckhorn Mountain on my way to Weaverville, CA. This stretch of road features superb twists and turns that are perfect for weaving in and out of traffic. The risk of plummeting hundreds of feet to your death lies only a few feet away. When I’m driving, I fly around those corners, passing every car I can overtake. It is marvelous! My wife always has a completely different experience on these drives than I do—an experience I don’t understand. 

I’m a good driver, as evidenced by the fact that I have never been in an accident. Personally, I think I should have been a NASCAR driver or at least signed up for a car rally. When she lets me know that she feels scared as I’m driving, I always think, Why are you scared? You have absolutely no evidence that I’m a bad driver. You should just calm down and be like me. But as mystifying as it is, I know my wife is not like me, and I cannot make her be like me. I can’t force her to feel what I feel and know what I know. I trust her to believe the best about me, so I know that when she tells me she is scared, she is not insinuating that I am trying to scare her. She is simply telling me what she feels. If I were to argue with Sheri’s feelings, I would devalue her. “You shouldn’t feel that way. 

There’s no valid reason for you to feel like that. I don’t feel like that. Change and be like me.” This thought process is as ridiculous as someone saying, “I’m hungry,” and responding, “No you’re not! I’m not hungry so you can’t be hungry.” How silly is that? But that is exactly what we do when we respond to others without taking the time to understand, appreciate, and validate their feelings. When I value your feelings, I will not only make it safe for you to communicate them to me, but I will also listen and respond. I will invite you to go deeper and show me what it is you need, so we can move from understanding to decision-making and action. 

Communication Hacks 3

Agreement isn’t the point 

Chapter two 

​Some people think that talking is communicating. But talking is not communicating unless it has a goal, a purpose. Most often in communication, the goal is agreement. But if our goal is agreement, then what happens when we disagree? I must persuade you to agree with me, or vice versa. 

But unfortunately, persuasion has a way of slipping into pressure, manipulation, and control. The priority of agreement demands that there really can’t be two different people in the conversation—there can only be one. The longer you refuse to respond to my efforts to convince you to agree with me, the more anxiety grows in the conversation. Before long, the battle lines are drawn and we are allowing our need to be right to overtake our need to protect our connection. 

The conversation becomes a fight over which one of us has the right perception, the right answer, or the right decision. If we are not careful, it will be only a matter of time before one of us introduces some kind of “relationship killer” to the conversation. A relationship killer is a message that invalidates or disqualifies one person’s thoughts, feelings, or needs in some way. 

It most often happens when someone mentions his or her feelings and the other person responds: “Well, that’s not logical. You can’t be right because you just have a feeling. We can’t measure your feelings. We have to present things logically. Your ‘feeling’ doesn’t even make sense. My perspective, on the other hand, has all the qualifiers to be valuable.” 

The underlying message, although unintended, is, “I am valuable and you are not.” When people start devaluing one another’s thoughts, feelings, or needs in some way, they are attacking their connection like a pack of wolves.

 If we want to keep two powerful people involved and connected in a conversation, the first goal must be to understand

 If connection is the priority, then the goal of communication cannot be agreement, because then one person has to disappear when there is disagreement. And guess what? People do not always agree. If we want to keep two powerful people involved and connected in a conversation, the first goal in the conversation must be to understand. The person whose goal is to understand says, “I want to understand your unique perspective and experience. I want to understand the truth of what is happening inside you. And I want you to understand the same things about me. 

If I understand your heart, then I can move toward you in ways that build our connection. I can respond to your thoughts, respect your feelings, and help to meet your needs.” The results of this conversation are going to be radically different from the one whose goal was agreement alone. Pursuing the goal of understanding will help you progress through increasingly deeper levels of honesty in order to build true intimacy and trust in a relationship